Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Whether 'tis EZier in the mind to suffer...

Squamous cell carcinoma. A type of skin cancer. It is known to spread faster than basal cell carcinoma and can spread to other parts of the body to include internal organs.

I've read that a diagnosis of cancer changes your life. Everything. The way you think, what you choose to believe, what you choose to do, how you feel. I received my diagnosis today by telephone. Other than that it was a very normal day -- I met with clients and with employees, visited with family. So far all I feel is very tired, weary.

The fact that I'm 1,500 miles from home and here to attend the funeral of my sister-in-law whom we lost last Monday to cancer may contribute to my feeling of weariness.

At my ripe old age, I have often wondered what it would be that would end my life. I've actually had a low-grade morbid curiosity about that since I was a child. This may be it--the wondering may be over.

But probably not. I'm scheduled for minor surgery to have the cancerous spot on my back removed in less than a week from now. The literature tells me that, caught early, this cancer is generally treatable, and often does not return, but that I am now and for the rest of my life more prone to skin cancer than if I'd never had it. I am to be vigilant. Right now, I'm just tired.


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