I am seeing a lot of people ending relationships
this year with family and long-time friends over disagreements in politics.
Generally, but not always, such statements I have seen are authored by
relatively young people who proclaim alliance with left-leaning politics and
the ‘party of tolerance and inclusion.’ But not exclusively, as I have seen the
phenomena on both sides of the current situation. I’ve seen people blocking or
unfriending people they have known since 1970 or before; blocking close family;
blocking next-door-neighbors. They call their former associates ‘toxic’ and
state that they must eliminate them from their lives for the sake of their own
mental health. To these, I say I am sorry to hear your mental health is in such
a weak state. Ending a relationship over a disagreement in beliefs is purely
selfish—an immature response.
Having said that, I will admit that I have temporarily
distanced myself from a few of my contacts at times, admitting that I’m
simply tired of hearing their opinions or rants. I have not permanently blocked
any friend or family member—to my knowledge I have not ‘ended’ any
relationships over politics.
Before you color me a troll, allow me to state that I am a
life-long political conservative who believes strongly in truth (even if uncomfortable),
justice, equality of opportunity, freedom of thought and speech and association,
and has, to my memory, never voted a straight ticket. I have no respect for Mr.
Trump and consider him unfit for his office. I did NOT vote for him in 2016 and will not vote for him in 2020.
The echo chamber of communications only with like-minded
people handicaps your understanding. Association with people who disagree with
you helps you to understand, clarify, and deepen your own beliefs. Without
challenge or opposite insight beliefs become superficial and without depth of
conviction.
How to deal with those who are avid supporters of the
opposition and their positions and behaviors we strongly dislike and disagree
with? I start with a quote attributed by Evelyn Beatrice Hall to Voltaire: "I
wholly disagree with what you say and will contend to the death for your right
to say it."
Did you ask them why they support who and what they do? When
they told you did you listen? Truly listen to see if you could understand deep-seated
motivations? Or was that simply too much work for you? Or did you listen to find
weak points where you could destroy their argument? What happened when you
voiced your beliefs and your disagreements with theirs? When you told them you supported
and would vote for the opposition? Did they allow you to tell them why? Or did
they banish you? Did they demonstrate their disagreement by becoming violent? Did
they call you a moron or an idiot? If so, perhaps you are justified and correct
in ending the relationship. If not, I then would ask you, the party ending the
relationship, why does it upset you so that others disagree? Do you feel responsible
for their thoughts and actions? Or do you wish to exert control and see your
political aspirations succeed? Do you understand that by ending the
relationship you forfeit any opportunity to influence them for good through long-suffering
and example? Or do you fear that your opinion is the wrong one?
I, personally, feel strongly that our country and our freedoms
that I hold dear are in jeopardy. As such, I will speak out for my beliefs and
I will demand my right to do so. I will speak out against both anarchy and
fascism. Remember that denying another the rights you ask for yourself is anathema
to freedom and that the suppression of opposition and criticism is the very definition
of fascism.
Perhaps If we could find it in our hearts to admit that our connections
should not depend on controlling the other person or their beliefs, we could salvage
or heal those relationships. If we could heal those relationships, perhaps we
could exert, through long-suffering, patience, and love, some righteous influence. If we could exert some influence
and heal personal relationships, perhaps we could heal our nation.
If I may quote a FB Project Lincoln member, Dave D’Auria
from his post of August 19, 2020: “Being human is a given. But keeping our
humanity is a choice… Humanity (Websters): compassionate,
sympathetic, or generous behavior or disposition: the quality or state of being
humane...”
In my opinion, ending relationships over a disagreement in
politics is the counter to being humane. You are welcome to your opinion.