Death should have taken me sooner.
I find myself solidly within the cohort that is supposedly most at risk of death from a COVID-19 infection.
I am taking reasonable measures--suitable social distancing, hand washing, monitoring my body for symptoms--but I am NOT living in fear of the virus.
It may kill me. I won't say I don't care, but I will say I am not afraid of death. He and I have danced several rounds, already, over seventy years of life. I know he will take me in the end, but I feel that it will, at worst, be a draw. I am several hands ahead in the game of life and I'm not folding, yet.
I have faced death directly and obliquely.
Directly through dealing with cancer (twice) and heart problems (two kinds). Medical science has told me that neither of these ailments or threats is known to be related to my diet or habits. Still, my diet and habits have been mostly for my pleasure and comfort--not for the good of my long-term health. And, OH! How I have enjoyed the pleasures and comforts of life. My body has always been better to me that I've been to it.
Obliquely by being a motorcycle and auto enthusiast. I have ridden far and driven fast. When I first started these activities, we didn't even use helmets or seat belts as a defense against death himself. I have traveled broadly by air, sea, and land. I have eaten street food in Latin America and Asia. I have saunaed naked with strangers. At least twice, my training and experience have enabled me to extend the lives of others. I have stood on the plain and looked up into the eternities. I have stood near the cliff and looked into the infinite. I have been in foreign lands during times of war. I often complete travel with the phrase, "There. Cheated death again."
He will take me. But I am still here.
And I've been here. I've not built nations nor huge edifices. Unlike Cromwell, I have not drained any swamps. It is unlikely anyone will ever build a monument to me. Yet I will remain. The laughter and tears of friends and family will echo forever. The lessons I have watched my children learn live on in what my grandchildren are now learning. I have looked into the wondering eyes of a great-grandchild. Times may get hard. Times may get worse, but the wonder will remain.
For this life I have lived, I thank God or the Universe or whatever truly is the Great Power -- I believe there must be one. I think of him as the Great Scientist, a God who would not be complete without the Goddess next to him. I have been blessed by having my Goddess next to me for these many decades. I thank death, himself, for being so weak.
So when he takes me, he will do so over my laughter. To win, he should have taken me before I was three years old!