How EZ will life changes be?

Today, I made an appointment for a dementia care educator to come to our home to assess our needs for assistance and to identify resources that may help in providing that assistance.

This service is provided, at no cost, through the local Hospice of the Valley, a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization serving Central Arizona and is funded by a federal program. The home visit will be from a dementia educator who teaches behavior management strategies for dementias, and helps with medications, placement options and other available resources, and living wills. Our assigned educator is named Kobie. I learned of this program recently while listening to a local NPR program while working in my garage.

My concern is that my dear wife, Glenda, is showing very clear signs of memory loss. She has been evaluated by our primary care provider and by Dr. Ashby at the Barrow Institute in Phoenix. They have not diagnosed her with Alzheimer's, but verify some level of age-related dementia, possible related to the stroke she suffered in 2009. The memory loss becomes obvious in conversation with her and in the fact that she can't remember what year it is, who is our President, and such. She also has gotten to where she won't leave home alone, even for a local walk (with very limited exceptions) because she fears she won't be able to find her way home. In addition to the memory concerns, she is nearly blind from age-related macular degeneration (dry), and has balance, fall, and movement problems caused by orthostatic hypotension as well as incontinence problems related to age and birthing our five children.

I am her primary care giver and non-medical attendant. I cook and serve meals, clean, arrange medications, shop, provide all transportation, do laundry, help her with selecting clothing, manage her audio-book library and tools and more. We are both 73 years old. Here's the kicker: I am a cancer patient, currently receiving care for two different forms of metasticized cancer. Plus I have the spectrum of old, overweight, white-man health problems: High blood pressure, AFIB, aortic insufficiency, GERD, etc. My health and family history do not indicate that I'll have a life span equal to Glenda's. What happens when I am, for whatever reason, not able to provide the care she needs?

To be, or not to be. William said that that is the question. Our question is a little more complicated that that. I doubt there will be EZ answers, but I am hoping that the Kobie can help us understand what is needful and what is possible.